Thursday, May 31, 2012

A moment to bask in sunshine and vanity,
these moments are fleeting.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

We Belong to Rome

This city is built on ruins.
Is there one thing time cannot touch
If everything is corrupt?
I've seen the bodies of saints sleeping in their original flesh. Or so they say.
Why am I thinking so much today?
I think we choose how quickly we decay.

We belong to Rome. Eventually, we all fall.
Yet, it's hard to see.

St. Claire, pray for me.

I hate this world of miscommunication, all these languages have me silenced.
I am no longer sure what I am saying and who I am saying it to.
What language am I speaking again? 
Who are you? Where did we meet?
Was it here or was it a dream? 
I do that a lot. 
I am not sure if you understand what I mean, 
I do not understand what you mean. I am afraid to.
I try not to let my heart come out on my tongue, 
It does anyways.
Mostly, I am afraid that you do not want to know what I have to say.
I hope you do not understand.

Things were easier by the ocean

Freshly made espresso, the sea-salt from Barcelona still lingers on my lips. I am sitting in a quiet place that isn't quiet at all. What a whirl-wind of a week, what a whirl-wind of a month, what a whirl-wind of a life, if it stopped I would be dead or dying. How unimportant everything seems when you are removed from it. How unimportant each life is to everyone else. 
That's tragic because I thought I was the world to you. We all did. I tried to make you mine, but your yoke frightened me. That doesn't mean I want to be alone. That doesn't mean I don't still try.

The others? They pray, they chant, they speak of faith. What good is this faith if they cannot love? What good is this faith if they do not see their flaws, their misinterpretations, or if they cannot admit they are wrong? We are all pieces of something (what?) looking to be made whole. I can go to Barcelona, I can cry in a basilica, I can have a gypsy reads my palm, I can search for something in men I have never met. What is worse, they can all search for something in me. I am more frightened than a bird trapped inside a cathedral. 

I ardently want to know what all of this is about. I am not content with simple answers. The worst part is, I will never find what I am looking for. I just want to be able to make up my mind. 

Things were easier by the ocean, but I couldn't swim.

I am happy here. Maybe that is all I really need to know.
Or maybe that was only because I didn't have time to think.

Saturday, May 12, 2012


Wine in juice boxes, steps of the Cathedral, vendors selling their water-colors on the streets. I am in love, and this time it is with a city. This time, it is I who has to leave. I always have to leave, and where am I going? For once, I wish I could just stay. 

Friday, May 4, 2012

Cigarette after cigarette
Each one you swear is the last,

But memory is the worst addiction
That I have ever had. 

-Found in an old journal today while packing

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Ciaosono solo ioHo lasciato il mio cuore con voi da qualche parte e ho bisogno di nuovo.

Vengo per questo.